i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
