Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
