i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize