I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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