If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
kristin has been a bad kristin
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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