if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
