I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
