We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
