Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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