Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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