Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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