I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
