and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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