Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
