So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
