OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am one with the molecules
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
