I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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