it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
