He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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