There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
