What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
