hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
