Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
