We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
