Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
