I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
