Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
