I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
