never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
