I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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