Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want a musical about memes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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