I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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