oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so explain again why im purple
no
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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