Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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