I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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