I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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