all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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