yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
