there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A+ Viking dick
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
