I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The feeling are messing with the penis
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize