I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
