his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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