what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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