help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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