playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
