She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize