do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
