She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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