I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
