But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
