Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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