i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize