I hate your face
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
