So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
