Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize