How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
