drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
