I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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