Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I deserve this hangover.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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