hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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