are you still at the devil's house?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
50% drunk capacity currently
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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