from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
