the condom got lost in my hair
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
