Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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