I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
