R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
