Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
