420 ftw
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
