I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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