I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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