I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
