That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize