my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
