i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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