Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
