I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
