You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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